Saturday, April 29, 2017

Bringing Up Children in a Healthy and Happy Way

Alexis as a baby.

I am going to try something different here. Instead of emailing a reply to Alexis in her blog, I am going to put it in my blog because maybe others can benefit from my opinion. Although if she does not like it then I will have to delete it or edit it, since she is the boss.

A little background on her. Most medical school students go there from ages 23 to 27. She is 22 and in her third year of medical school. She could have skipped 3 more years of high school but her parents did not want her going to college at age 12. So she is a super genius. Her father is an M.D. and her mother has degrees in teaching, psychology and music.

So here is her post from her blog that I am talking about.

My Mommy

Here is my response to it. Yes, in this country they follow that parenting idea of the parent being the absolute dictator that comes Nazi Germany. My mother also followed it. In fact the way that one shows that they are good Christian is that they say that they are a God-fearing Christian. Yet if you know the bible or look it up, you will see that Jesus said that fear is a bad thing to have. Also the more fear you have, the less happiness you have. There is a saying, The coward dies a thousand deaths, while the courageous man dies only once.

Also if you watch Star Wars, you know that there is a connection between fear and anger. Also Jesus did like those emotions. So what if your mother did not argue with you that you said was a waste of time and had an attitude that it would be okay if your dress got dirty. There is a simple solution to it like changing your dress. It is not like getting cancer and dying of it.

Attachment parenting came from a group of what Christians would call Godless savages in South America that have been bringing up children the same way for tens of thousands of years. They never told the children what to do, in the Yequana village. Also the children were in very dangerous situations but never got in accidents. So my question is are accidents really accidental? Or is it the anxiety of the parents causing them.

So on the TV show Kung Fu a child of about 12 was growing up a Shaolin monastery. He had to learn something like walking a balance beam until he mastered it. Then his test was to walk on this piece wood across this pool of acid. He could see the bones of other children in the pool that did not make. So the child starts to walk across with fear and fell into the pool of deadly acid. But he was not harmed since it was only water. His master said that it was his fear that pulled him into the pool. So for the aggravation that your mother caused you, you gave her the scare of her life. You can call that karma.

Also don't think that the more you know and the more intelligent you are, the less fun it is to be with kids. You are just using a different part of your brain. I did not mention that Alexis is very proficient at playing many instruments and also can learn lines in a part quickly to sing and dance in a play. So imagine someone saying that they are a great brain surgeon so it was a waste of time to play music.

Now what if your mother were the savoir of the world. Would she think that she was too good to waste her time with children? Actually that happened with Jesus and his students were quickly getting rid of the children. Then Jesus said that they should stop and if they want to go to heaven, they should be like little children. Also the adults in the Yequana village never grew out of being children.

That was illustrated in this story. The villagers and Americans had to carry canoes through the jungle that is very 'stressful' work. The Americans got stressed out doing it. The natives did the same work and yet they had fun doing it and telling jokes while doing it. In fact the psychologist Dr. Wayne Dyer says that there is no stress, only stressful thoughts.

In your post, Alexis, you said that you were pressing down the glass because you were afraid of your mother. I want my kids to love me not to fear me. In fact since you are studying psychology, there is a mental disease where people will fear and love their kidnappers. Maybe it will be on your test. Wikipedia says:

Stockholm syndrome is a condition that causes hostages to develop a psychological alliance with their captors as a survival strategy during captivity.[1] These feelings, resulting from a bond formed between captor and captives during intimate time spent together, are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims.

Here is something about children from Jean Liedloff:
It took some time before the significance of what I was looking at sank into my "civilized" mind. I had spent more than two years living in the jungles of South America with Stone Age Indians. Little boys traveled with us when we enlisted their fathers as guides and crew, and we often stayed for days or weeks in the villages of the Yequana Indians where the children played all day unsupervised by adults or adolescents. It only struck me after the fourth of my five expeditions that I had never seen a conflict either between two children or between a child and an adult. Not only did the children not hit one another, they did not even argue.
Note they are called Indians because Columbus thought that America was India, but it never was.

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